Pain

The throbbing pain that everyone feels,
I can feel it to,
No matter how young i am,
How immature i am,
Sooner or later i will feel the same,
It hurt,
Yes, i do know as much,
The feeling of wanting to cry,
Pain in your chest,
The sudden heavy burden that you felt,
I do feel it too,
No matter how old i am,
Sooner or later i too will feel it.

Time has pass by,
Where my eyes are open,
With what the world taught me to do,
Just to survive the madness of the people,
I too feel the pain,
And there you're sitting there,
While folding the clothes,
Telling me your pain is much deeper than mine,
With only the very word,
I just felt the deepest cut onto my hurt,
Along with the pain that i didn't tell nor couldn't share,
I felt it for a long time,
Causing me speechless and just watch you folding the clothe,
While i hear another hurtful word that come out from you,
The shattered heart started to shatter again,
Just when i thought i wouldn't be so fragile,
I start feeling the same pain again.

There and just there i start to wonder,
Did you ever remember me as your daughter,
The only black sheep in the family who has been there for you,
The only one whose trying so hard not to hurt you,
I wonder if you ever see me,
See me and remember me well in your deepest heart,
While i struggle to gain your attention,
Just because the faith that you put onto my sister has lost,
Shouldn't i be given a chance to give you a new meaning?
I wonder about that,
Wondering and just wondering,
If you ever notice that my heart is breaking the moment you say that,
I, who was listening to your pain and disappointment,
Felt the hurt long time ago,
When i heard another breaking matter,
The smile that i try to do,
Kept on losing it's own feeling.


I was there when you needed me,
No matter how far i've gone to,
I'm always there just for you,
For you to bash your anger,
Your disappointment and along with your pain,
But then on this very night,
I realize you never saw me that time,
Each time i try to console you,
You never realize it was me,
It hurt,
Right here,
This very fragile heart of mine,
Seems to lost its shape again,
Unlike you who have someone to listen to,
I wonder on this very note in my hand,
Crying out the pain that i felt,
Without a shoulder to cry on.

If Someone is Watching

I wonder if someone is watching,
While i walk in the bookstore,
Searching happily for my favourite novels,
Laughing to myself when i had found it,
Talking to myself when i couldn't make a decision,
Standing there and staring the books on my hand,
Thinking which one should i get,
I wonder if someone notice it,
If there is,
Please don't let me be alone.

I wonder if someone is watching,
While i went to the restaurant and eating my favourite meal,
Sitting there just daydreaming,
Sometimes watching other people's reaction,
Smile to myself when i found it to be funny,
Just sitting there for a piece of my mind,
I wonder if someone notice it,
If there is,
Please lend me your shoulder if i do cry.

From my favourite view

I still hear love song from now and then,
No matter how hurt love made me,
I still want to believe it someday,
I might not love the man i trust anymore,
But i shall lead my love to a better way.

I still write the love story that i like,
Thinking about how it would be nice if it were me,
It was just a story that i tend to borrow to float,
With my wildest prince i conquer the pain,
But then it was the story that i wrote,
I tend to get back on the ground.

I still read my favourite historical romance,
Trying my hardest just to find Alec Kincaid,
The arrogant, blunt and warrior of him,
The him who shows his affection throughout my eyes,
But it was the novel that i love,
I feel like giving up romance.

For the small room

In this little room i let a small hole to enter the light,
Let there be light in the gloomy room,
Just for me to breathe again and see the whole world,
There from that tiny hole i peek onto,
Seeing happiness as well as sadness,
I back up a little bit and reach my very treasure,
As i wrote another thing or two about the world revolve around me,
From there i start writing while wondering what would happen then,
Will it be a sad ending that i despise the most,
Or would it be the great ending that i miss so much.

I'm Fine

I'm fine like i always said,
But i keep on limping as the pain starts throbbing,
I keep on walking though it's still miles away,
I try to fasten my footsteps,
But the pain threatens to slow me down,
Sweats of hurt rolling onto my cheek,
Some might have thought it was the tears all along,
But i refuse to make any comment,
I'm okay i said,
And they start to back up and give me way,
I'm fine like i always said,
But the pain leaves me limping.

I'm fine like i always said,
As i start finding for a stick or part of trees to be my third leg,
Climbing the slippery hills as keep on climbing,
I'm starting to suffer for more and more,
I want to cry if i could,
I want to stop if i could,
I want to shout if only i could,
This pain starts to spread elsewhere,
As i keep climbing it turns out the slippery track push me down again,
As if not wanting me to go on,
I clenched my teeth to hold the pain,
But it turn out the pain on my leg is not there anymore,
I'm starting to feel the pain in my very heart,
I'm fine like i always said,
But the pain leaves me cold at night.

I'm fine like i always said,
As i struggle with the slippery track again,
This time i have every intention to challenge it,
Forgetting about the pain for a moment as i climb again,
But again it throws me away making my leg throb as well as my heart,
I look up as a hand was hold up for me,
Telling me to cry if it hurt,
Yell if i needed help,
And lean my people's shoulder for every now and then,
One by one drops of tears starts flowing,
As he lend me the shoulder that i needed,
And hold me up and let him do the walking instead,
As we climb up together,
I finally see the place that i wanted,
I'm fine like i always said,
For i have him now holding me tightly.

Curse or coincidence?

If you ever heard a heartbreaking song,
Cover my ear so i won't hear,
Nor will i sing it if i fall for it,
Cause it will be a sign where i try to avoid,
Sooner or later i'll break people's heart again.

I don't want to believe it,
Ignoring it to the point i sung it oftenly,
For me it was just a song that i like to sing,
Not because i have a broken heart,
But a song that i got attracted to and remember well,
When few days after,
I end the relationship breaking people's heart.

I wouldn't mention it if it's not true,
But as years pass by thats all i could see,
Was it a curse or coincidence,
I refuse to believe in it,
For i know it was fate,
That's what written in my destiny.

The Girl Who Run Away From Love

If i ever step on that path again,
I always wonder will i face another broken heart,
Another endless pain and dissatisfaction,
Was it all a lie when my heart says 'He's the one',
Sometimes i even doubt myself if i chose the right one.

I thought it was love at first,
Until i see to many lacking and too many pain to handle,
I start to change slowly and blame it on him,
While all in all i know the very reason it happen,
I did not love him at all.

Though i kept falling to the sins that i know,
But i dream of one perfect husband to hide my imperfection,
It was one dream of mine,
But after going through the broken heart,
I tend to run away from falling in love again.