When Was It

When was it I stop complaining,
Nor asking things from my very own family,
Was it an ordinary feeling among the family itself,
Or was it just me keep feeling i own them so many things.

To my dear sister whom i always talk to when i was small,
The one who created a map for my treasure hunt,
The one who taught ABC really well and give me homework,
My dearest sister whom i took as my role model,
When in the end,
I couldn't ask nor tell what i truly wanted.

My distant dad the one whom i'm scared of,
Even until today i'm still unable to talk to him,
Not of respect i'm scared of him but out of fear,
And for now i never tell him what i wanted even for food or money,
Was it because i lose hope in him or because of his words,
That left a deep scar whenever i see or near him.

How did i get so awkward towards my family,
When did i ever lose them though i am so close,
Them whom i treat so awkwardly,
Was it because of my concern towards their feeling that i break my own heart,
Giving out the poker face that i'm perfect at i act my role,
As a consoler i am and as a friend i am,
But when did i become so far away from them,
Was it because of my broken heart or was it because of my dying hope,
When was it did i lose my family who are so close but yet so far,,,