Motherhood

I learn that,
About how wounded i am today,
How my past affected me now,
The days that i have been through,
I am reminded by it every now and then,
About my vow,
It was suppose to heal,
But i guess it would take a great war indeed,
A battle to keep my own words,
For the next time i hold my own baby,
I would never behave like this again.

I learned that now,
Babysitting can brought up the past,
How i am treated i see it now,
Unconsciously it became true,
Everyday i would battle it out,
Trying my every way to avoid the possibilities,
Praying for more patience to calm me,
All the crying, sulking and just attitude,
I sometimes forget about my vow,
When i did yell,
When i did become evil,
When i did become the wounded person,
Hopefully in time,
In time i will never be like this again.