What??

What if i were to tell a secret?
A dark secret that could ruin the me today,
Whatever would happen to the day after tomorrow,
Will i be able to stand on my own again,
After my own clumsiness for opening the truth.

What i may think may not the same as it is,
It could turn out to be disappointment,
Either way round i'm ready to take,
But then it occurs to the unexpected thing happen,
I could not help but being a coward.

What my heart wanted has never satisfy those who are close,
It always hurting them and hurting me even more,
As my life keeps on rolling,
I realize i had nowhere to go nor my goal,
I feel so confused yet so lonely.

What if has been the same question enter before i sleep,
Now i'm just to scared to sleep unless i'm really tired,
For i don't want to think a question that has unbearable answer,
For i have been creating the fantasy life that keeps me comfort,
Whereas until now i am still well hidden.

What could possibly be hurtful than being the failure,
Though i didn't mean to think that way,
But the eyes that are following telling me the same thing,
May it be your closest stranger or blood ties,
I couldn't stop them nor explaining anything.