The Hand Hurts More

The hidden letter that was written,
Meant to be send when you are old enough,
To understand and be able to accept it,
Thus my dear sweet child,
This trembling hand writes to you,
Just a little bit of the story that goes,
Truth were meant to set free,
And a promise that i kept to myself,
But soon to be forgotten by a faulty memory of mine,
Or just merely due to the reason why i have ever become lonely,
When you decided to walk away,
Just away from the very small family that you had,
Though they say blood is thicker than water,
Some have forgotten about the scars that you carry on,
Only me who can heal it,
And only me the antidote of the sickness that you had,
Hear me my dearie,
That past of yours,
I'll answer it all.

After all the hardship that i have been through,
There you were,
Born just like any other babies in the world,
The wailing that you make,
Gave me a smile and happiness around my heart,
Those tiny finger that wraps my own,
Felt so warm as i hold you within,
When i can feel my tears flowing down onto my cheek,
As i kiss your forehead and thanking you for coming to me,
Years pass by as you were 4 years old,
Finally starting to understand what i'm saying,
Where you talk back at me,
And there's no more of goo goo, ga ga,
Even so,
You started to get hit a lot,
Grounded, yelled and mostly spanking,
As my heart ache over and over again,
Wishing that you understand,
When i know none of my word can reach you yet,
Due to that very own,
The distance that you're creating,
Tears me apart,
No longer can i hugged and kiss you on the cheek,
When the older you get,
The blame and hatred that i have from you,
Somehow becomes the very own poison that i receive from you,
Each sins that i made,
While trying to teach you about the good in life,
Besides protecting your own life from the evil that might hurt you,
From the pressure that i get from the surroundings,
I sighed tiredly,
Unable to stopped you from leaving the house,
When i forget to tell you my reason for hurting you,
Ruining your childhood that you assume,
I watched you go so coldly,
Still prays for your safety and success no matter you go,
Cause dear my sweet child,
The hand that hurt you while you were growing up,
Hurts so much more than the scars that you carry,
Though no bruises that you see...
So long my dearie.