It Has Been the Same

" I'll make you, your favourite food"
I've heard of it before,
It sounds so familiar and the last time i heard it,
Made my heart flutters,
But in just one second it tears up my whole heart,
Crashing it over and over again,
I know i should never lose hope,
But how can i keep doing so when it all comes in vain.

I was mad for the first time it happen,
Every year i dealt with the same thing,
The same line that i heard but only the venue was different,
The event was differ as well,
Yes, it put on a smile on me every year,
But as the time gets near,
There's always excuse running in my ear,
Stares that i got from others,
And all thats left for me,
Is nothing but a shattered heart again and again.

Is it wrong of me to say i'm not putting it into hope anymore?
The me who never learn her lesson for a long time has finally learnt it,
But then all i hear is your heart cracking,
What exactly do i have to do?
I who have waited years of the simple thing,
Have to work so hard to make you see me,
But as always,
You skip the one in front of you and move on to others,
How can i keep on going if i keep on hoping?
For a favourite food that i longed for,
I have waited so many years and keep on meding this heart of mine,
So tell me,
Is it wrong for me to lose hope for only this time of the year?

Let me Smile

When you see my eyes filled up with tears,
Take me away from the place that made me that way,
Don't talk to me or console me at that time,
Cause i promise myself to not shed a tear anymore,
Bring me to a place where there's no roof to cover from sunshine,
But ravines to cool me down,
Let it be rocks the place that i lay,
As i watch the sky and close my eyes to smell the trees,
Let me stay there,
As night finally shown itself,
Slowly you may come to me and talk while taking out my favourite food,
From there i'll talk about my pain and anger,
You will see me cry while i tell you more stories,
But oddly enough i start to laugh when you joke around,
As i tell you more about the funny moments,
There on you will see me smile again.

A lot of things

There are things that people forgot to teach me
They forgot to teach me how to laugh again once i fall,
Once i start a new life in a new leaf,
They forgot to mention that i will never be the same.

Someone did remind me about the past,
The past that erase my memories after,
To the point i can hardly remember anyone,
The name that taught me how to love,
Even the name that taught me how to cry.

My future is not for a fortune teller to tell,
It was my Greatest Creator who have write it on my fate,
Though i chose every other path that i can,
I still and will be tested no matter how weak i am.

Her broken heart

It is so fragile,
The life that i led so far,
Had made me so easily broken inside,
While i keep a straight face,
But lately i felt that tears nearly dropped from my precious eye,
I had to turn away avoiding their eyes,
And brush the tears away before it could dropped,
Didn't i promise to myself to not let it happen again,
To not let my precious tears fall down again,
I guess the aftermath of my sad memory,
Has come back to me without any mercy,
For even if i begged to leave me alone,
It keeps on coming on everytime i fake another laugh.

It is so hard,
For me to tell them,
My very own family how i too hurt a lot,
But then there's always silent whisperer keeps on floating around,
'I'm only 23 years old and what pain did i really felt compare to my parent,'
Thus i turn myself around and letting me to be hurt again,
A listener to their pain that i am,
A joker to their eyes,
But all i really do take is their bashing when they loses control,
How can i be able to protect it any longer,
When i too need a shelter or more to say,
Someone whom i can really turn and cry upon too.

The nights that always accompany me,
There's no stars that i see,
No moon to be my idol,
Just dark cloudy nights become my very own blanket,
In this very room that i have,
I wrote my heart out for them to read one day,
But then i'll regret it the moment they say i'm wrong,
So tell me Dear Daisy,
What will my fate bring me?
This pain that i bring each and everyday of my life,
Will i ever found a warrior that can warm me with his life,
And make me laugh again without those tear that filled up my eye,
How i long to be able to say what is in my heart....

My Lonely Nights

If there is a path that i have to choose,
How i wanted to so eagerly chose the path for my happiness,
Life has its own way and so does fate,
No matter which path i took,
I would always come to the same junction,
The same decision that i should make,
And without a doubt i still lead the pain, the tears, the laughter all along.

If people always wanted the time to stop or reverse,
I would want the same as well,
For until now i can never forgive myself,
Their eyes that i see today is full of hope and dreams,
They look at me as if i'm innocence,
Forgetting that i am also human,
The once white cloth that i had on,
Has long been tainted by the black colour that i love,
How can i apologize to them when it is all a secret that i'm scared off,
A past that haunted me over and over again,
This is my punishment,
Where i'm unable to love anyone without hurting them.

Friendship never end (it did)

Was it too big for me to hold onto,
Or i'm just not worth it to be holding it,
For something that i called my treasure,
The precious thing and fragile bond that ever happen,
When a friendship turns their back at you,
From there and there,
You just fall down feeling the agony.



It wasn't the warmth that wrapped me up,
But the bleeding each time my heart breaks over and over again,
No matter how hard i try to mend the ties among us,
Seems like the other side of it keeps on getting cut,
How can i reach you and make you see,
When it seems like he was the only one that you care,
Somehow in my head i know i'm losing,
But my heart still tries so hard to reach you,
As time pass by,
I decided to let you go.

When it Pains

What should i do?
When the embrace that i yearn so much becomes poison,
Through my skin it felt like fire,
Burning so much that it hurt and leaves a very dark mark,
Unattractive as it is,
Somehow it becomes like acid that melts everything that i touch,
What should i do when it occurs?
When the heat of one's embrace becomes poison towards me.

What should i do?
When the words of persuade becomes bitter in my throat,
Like the medicine that i took during my pale moments,
Though somehow it can be wash away with water,
But this words does not seem to be washed away by just mere water,
How could i possibly get rid of the bitterness,
When it have come to the truth that i must accept,
But what should i do?
When the bitterness of the words does not goes away and becomes my pain.


What should i do?
When the song that i like becomes a broken radio,
The lyrics that are always clear to my ear becomes silence,
The melody itself turns to an unfinished tune,
Thus it becomes the tears to my eyes when i could have laugh,
Now i even have to beg my dearest MP3 to play it well,
But it seems my feelings is not counted,
For i keep on hearing just a mute song with unfinished melody,
What should i do?
When the song that i use to sing becomes my own tears to my heart.