On days like this

If i were to fall,
Who would do the job,
Small matter it is,
But where is my fighting will?
I have come this far to be taken down by my health,
Not that i forgotten about myself,
I have tried as much as everyone else,
Often i see others in front of me,
More painful and tiring than me,
Thus i challenge myself to that one point,
The part where i have forgotten i have my limit,
No matter how i overcome it,
I seem to sunk deeper into this illness,
Even so,
If i didn't tell myself to get up,
Who would replace me and remember me.

Headache, dizziness, the cold and the coughing,
My hand keep on working,
Doing the same old routine,
Acting like it was nothing,
Heavy as it gets,
I avoided taking medicine,
Fearing i slept throughout the whole day,
What could have happen to them,
If this is about money,
I would have taken the pills,
But this is something else,
A burden that i always thought i am,
Trying to get away from the title matters to me,
As i keep standing still,
Smiling ever so healthy,
Acting i can handle this and ask for more.

Here i am,
Due to my own stubborn and pride,
My own 'title' that i was trying to get rid,
Alas,
I'm on this very bed of mine,
Staring into the ceiling,
Whispering the name who would hear me out,
Holding my hand onto air,
Wishing someone did hold onto it,
Head feels heavy i could no longer hold it,
My eyes slowing closing my vision,
As i had my nights,
So empty and cold,
Shivering and painful,
With hopes but the knowing,
Is even hurtful than the state i'm in.