Signs of Love

What signs should i send to you,
My everything that i want you to feel,
Talking seems to be the most forbidden rule in this game,
For i run so far away refusing you to get close,
When everytime you did held out your hand to me,
As i stare at it and unconsciously,
My eyes seems to follow you,
Wherever might you be,
Even when this eye is close,
Your presence is enough to make me feel 1001 feelings that i never knew.

Even now and then,
I still think what signs should i send to you,
Long so long time ago i want to keep it empty and buried,
But now that you are coming this close,
How is it i be able to taste the warmth of yours,
Slowly it sneaks in that place that i wanted empty,
Before i could stop you,
My hands are tied,
I seem to be doing what my heart says,
The lies that i promise to tell you when i ever met you,
Seems to be replacing that place,
And even the truth that i want you to hear,
You use it and create more and just more,
To the moment i would call it,
"Moment of ours".

Idiot that i am,
A fool for falling that in love for the you,
But still i thought about,
The signs that i want to give to you,
Some nights i wonder what is it,
My days end up like treasure hunting,
For everyday that i see you,
The ugly, messy, perfect, you,
Seems like the every day is the first for me,
I know i have the answers already,
That something seems to be my greatest wall,
When that one whispers of yours,
I finally give my very own answer that you want,
And when i whisper it back at you,
I will never forget the look that you had.

Pure Heart

"Let love come and take you away"
And so i have heard,
The saying of what people have heard,
Long before anyone could have told me,
I learn it while i was looking at them,
Giving the very thought that i had on my own,
When i realize i should have done the same.

I have love filling my own,
Sometimes it burst from its own place,
Letting people to feel a touch of the warmth,
But somehow along than more roads could be,
An iota of modicum were spreading the pain,
Fear as i might,
For it to spread like a virus,
When one hold out the very hand that i much in need.

Yes, that is what they say,
"Let love come and take you away"
For i feel it now when i should have feel it then,
With a simple spell that you put on me,
Those prickling pain started to fade,
Comes another warm not the hand but just something,
Even the words can never be compare to these feeling.

Nights in my eye

Comes the night that i waited for,
The sky is just like a curtain for every other night,
When sometimes i would see millions of star in the sky,
Others might just accompany with only moon,
While there are also nights it would seem cloudy,
But sometimes,
It would just be empty without a soul.

If moon were to come tonight,
Just what will i'll be seeing,
For if i keep staring at it,
It brings a whole lot better entertainment,
Remembering the tales that were once share,
Until now i keep figuring,
If i might be able to see the rabbit up there,
It gives a laugh when you know it is not true.

The stars would be pretty tonight,
Diamond of the night,
Glittering and boasting their power,
A little to late for it to reach my eye,
For years it travel,
When it actually already died,
But i happen to see it even if just a glance,
Stars,
They look so pretty,
But some might say,
It is the saddest beautiful thing that they don't want to see.


There goes the cloudy night,
Hiding everything covering what suppose to be shown,
Threatening the very way with lightning  strike,
The sounds thundering breaks the silence,
Possibly the night that i lay underneath my blanket,
Asking for protection as it may give heats,
For sometimes it brought rain along with wind,
And sometimes,
Just the wind that i could treasure,
And let me close my eyes with the cloudy night upon me.


Comes the night with nothing just night,
Clearly the sky is dark enough,
As if you're already closing your eye,
The truth behind everything sounds either scary or memorable,
For the emptiness of that night never leave it totally empty,
When you happen to look up during that time,
Doesn't it seems like you're seeing your life,
Your past that you want to forget, remembered, happiness and sadness,
It goes on like endless drama,
True we are the actor and actress,
Then and then,
We learn everything,
A mistake, the path and our maturity,
Have we laugh enough for our happiness in the future,
Cry in pain for the incoming challenge,
See everything that were hidden among us,
Have we ever had enough,
Even the night needs to end,
For we would have a brand new day everyday,
Unless the time has stop for us.

Treasure Hunting

For the note that she left,
Telling everyone how cruel she is,
Too heartless for their thoughts,
Leaving the empty room but just a note,
Saying nothing but a short goodbye,
Without having a care to her mother,
Her angry father cursing his ungrateful daughter,
While her sisters could only give 1001 reason for her mother to take,
Just like a medicine and poison at the same time,
When her mother finally clears her head,
And accept that she left them and would never come back.

No one did ask her why she left,
For such a cheerful girl leaving the home so suddenly,
Just a simple note on the table she left,
Not a picture of her that she left,
Even her graduation photo she took it also,
Astounded by her action,
The mother thought about the reason she left,
Someone who obey her very word and her very dictate,
Ever looking so timid and powerless,
But she has become her very own strength for so long,
When her leaving becomes her deepest pain of all,
Until now she forgot that her dear daughter had told her so.

She told them so many times they could not remember,
Her honest answer makes everything should be simple,
When she told them she needed a vacation,
They simply send her to another relative of theirs,
She show her displeasure,
Give out her opinion when it never really matter,
Just when she had enough,
She told them clearly again to warn them about it,
Still they simply ignore her request as long as she's close by,
For finally she makes her very own move,
When night falls,
She left everything and leave for the place that she needed.

Angry was their understanding,
Cursing and disowning was all they could think off,
When another letter appear before their eyes,
Telling them the pain, loneliness, suffocation that she felt,
Now that they remember,
She did tell them but they were too busy with the money,
The dissatisfaction and argue a lot to care for her,
They forgot to look her deep down in her eye,
When she told them as clear as the blue sky for them to see,
Even she would cry when she never did,
How could they know,
When she smile ever so brightly for it shines their gloomy life.

They understood it now and asking for her back,
But they never did know where she went,
The friends that she talk about,
No one knows where she headed to,
Even they are aware that she will be going somewhere,
Then her message that she left,
The puzzles that she gave to her friends,
They sit and look for the answer they know,
For their treasure that they did not see,
Finally each pieces gave out the very answer to them,
As they leave the house and search for her,
There she was,
Smiling ever so happily among the green fields,
The cold and fresh air that suits her life,
When she greeted them with her bright smile,
Knowing that they have to let her go, willingly this time.

The Room

It was never perfect,
That one small room that i sleep in,
I would call it my bedroom,
For the time being i would like to think so,
But life taught me the other way,
When i realize the place was never for me.

The sizes was just perfect,
With the curtains up and floor furnished,
My books were being put in one place,
The only thing that amiss,
The bed was never there,
I realize this room was never for me,
For i belong somewhere else,
Cause that is where my heart leads me too.

Standing in the doorway,
Watching the empty room,
No matter how inviting it is,
There comes the time when i know i'll be leaving,
So i watch it for the last time,
While i heads out to another journey,
Hoping that one day my heart will lead me here.

When it was taken (Hand)

When the hand has been taken away,
I regret for not giving what i should give,
Leaving them so helpless,
While i went out partying without a care,
Enjoying what life has given upon me,
Forgetting it was only a moment to feel,
For when it was taken away,
Them,
Lend me their ear, their thoughts, their strength,
Giving more than enough for me to revive,
Cripple that i am,
But i feel blessed for being alive.

More than I ask

That day i ask for a little bit of happiness,
And i did have so much of the joy the world can give,
Along with my happiness,
I earn friendship a bond that i didn't expect,
Memories were born,
A new adventure were given,
As we encounter with other new feeling ahead.

Then i ask for a little of forgiveness,
For the pain that occur during the happy moment,
Something that i a miss myself,
Then somehow the bond become stronger than i thought,
When we learn about the other truth and the life,
Every now and then,
I never forgot to say sorry.

Later i ask for my dreams,
Years of patience that i gain,
While i also see a lot more about the path,
The heart stronger than ever,
For no matter what fail me,
I never did learn about giving up,
Not long after,
More of satisfaction i had,
As i achieve my one and only precious moment.

Undisclosed

Without the words that i usually start with,
How will i end up explaining everything,
For more the story that needs to be told,
More of the sharing that were needed for sharing,
Have i remember the words perfectly when i see you in person.

Years have been so cruel to us,
Sending you to the other side of the world,
And me on my own journey,
Sometimes we forgot to send the simple hello,
Just to remind them that we are still here.

When we meet again,
It seems like we met for the first time,
How we both change so dramatically,
Instead of talking,
We were just strolling around feeling awkward.

I'm going again while you're staying,
Just when we thought we could stay together,
Forgive me my dear friend,
The journey i seek is out there for me,
We'll wait for another year to see each other again.

I'll Always Think of You

When i'm so far away from you,
Words that i fear becomes my greatest challenge,
The once you thought warm of me becomes so very cold,
Your vision of me slowly fading,
For all you could see and remember becomes your own doubt,
Wondering if i ever was the real one.

This distant that kept us for so long,
I could not bear to write you a long letter,
Nor even send you a very simple text message,
And i'm here hearing how you suffer,
Listening what is happening to you,
Cowardly i can never write you the word that i usually say casually.

Not that i forgot,
For all the treasure that i have in this world,
I can give it up for you,
Just so that i can be so close and closing the distant between us,
Where i can catch you when you fall,
Taking your hand into my own,
Warm it with the very least my heart could do,
While i tell you everything that you needed the most.

When i'm far,
I'm not so cold as the winter that you felt,
My eyes are not the eyes that can freeze you,
Nor even my memory is old enough to make me forget,
Though time becomes our greatest enemy,
When i'm so far away from you,
Please remember,
I always think of you.

The Bus Stop

It was always empty,
At the bus stop,
Even the bus never bother to stop,
It was always empty,
Surrounded with stubborn bushes,
Making it their own place,
Even worse,
Sending shivers to the people,
Assuming it was once a haunted place.

But here i am,
At the always empty bus stop,
Sitting and waiting,
Not for the bus to come,
Something that only i know what to wait,
Ever since then and on,
It was me who make it like home,
Pulling all the weeds and grass,
And just waiting patiently,
While one by one people dare to stop by.

There's a stall beside it,
Out of nowhere they decided to sell drinks and fruit there,
As always they ask me who i wait for,
I can only smile and drink the coffee that i bought,
One by on the car, truck and even motorcycle stop,
Buying drink and fruit,
When it rains the riding one take shelter,
Some sweet couple were shivering cold,
Some old one stares out the sky,
Some were just wearing the rain coat before move on,
It was once an empty bus stop,
Now it was always full of people,
That's when i stop visiting there and just keep observing from far.

The Forgotten Feeling

Days, years have pass by,
Since i last mend my broken heart,
Moving forward without any hesitation,
The pile of paper that was always on my desk,
The ringing phone needed attention,
The people that i need to meet,
I have come so far but yet missing something,
Something that i vow not to have,
But even so just like a virus it creep up upon me,
The warmth of one's hand that told me rest.

Was it the fever that weaken my wall that i created,
When all of the sudden the ice that surround my heart melted,
Leaving me feeling so naked to one's eye,
There have been various scar that were hidden,
When a voice softly spoken to my ear,
Telling me to cry for as much as i want,
Yell for feeling the endless pain,
Most of all,
Ask what is it that i truly want in my life,
Letting me to dream and planting hope,
When finally i open my eyes,
Seeing him standing next to me,
While he send back the feeling that i once use to have.

The One

Lately your confession troubles my heart,
I am hoping to give a denial,
But i cannot bear to watch you hurt,
Nor can i stand to lie to you,
Thus i run somewhere for me to rest,
As i could no longer accept the love that you gave.

Lately i am unable to open my heart,
Not even a single emotion i did let out,
My eye stare coldly and freezes the warm that you gave,
Your words seems unreachable to me,
No matter you sung your praises clearly as the blue sky,
I can no longer hear them nor respond to any.

Lately i dream of my romance,
Being held captive by your warm embrace,
Wake up to see you beside me holding me tightly,
Whispering the lovely word that flatters me,
Just like a rake you are trying to win my heart,
Patiently creeping onto my heart,
Not bother of knocking but steal this heart of mine.

Lately i see myself in your eyes,
For i could no longer believe it was true,
There you are with your way heading for me,
Reaching out your hand as you say the word,
The word that i try to erase from my life,
But when you enter,
With your arrogance and selfish way,
You told me that i belong to you and refuse any denial,
As always i could mask my own reaction,
When you bent down and whisper to my ear,
Saying "Love, i can see through you."

Dining table

What actually happen to us?
It felt so far apart though we live in the same house,
We could barely have dinner together,
Silence, awkwardness floats into air,
Turning the situation to tense atmosphere,
Where did it all go wrong,
To be eating alone and heading to the room,
While you were down there i was up here,
What could actually be happening between us?
Being so close but yet so far to reach,
Tell me something,
Could we sit around on the dining table like we used to?
I miss the days where crab become our favourite food,
Days of our life,
Where did we spent it to,
When we forgot what precious time went as we grow older.

It Has Been the Same

" I'll make you, your favourite food"
I've heard of it before,
It sounds so familiar and the last time i heard it,
Made my heart flutters,
But in just one second it tears up my whole heart,
Crashing it over and over again,
I know i should never lose hope,
But how can i keep doing so when it all comes in vain.

I was mad for the first time it happen,
Every year i dealt with the same thing,
The same line that i heard but only the venue was different,
The event was differ as well,
Yes, it put on a smile on me every year,
But as the time gets near,
There's always excuse running in my ear,
Stares that i got from others,
And all thats left for me,
Is nothing but a shattered heart again and again.

Is it wrong of me to say i'm not putting it into hope anymore?
The me who never learn her lesson for a long time has finally learnt it,
But then all i hear is your heart cracking,
What exactly do i have to do?
I who have waited years of the simple thing,
Have to work so hard to make you see me,
But as always,
You skip the one in front of you and move on to others,
How can i keep on going if i keep on hoping?
For a favourite food that i longed for,
I have waited so many years and keep on meding this heart of mine,
So tell me,
Is it wrong for me to lose hope for only this time of the year?

Let me Smile

When you see my eyes filled up with tears,
Take me away from the place that made me that way,
Don't talk to me or console me at that time,
Cause i promise myself to not shed a tear anymore,
Bring me to a place where there's no roof to cover from sunshine,
But ravines to cool me down,
Let it be rocks the place that i lay,
As i watch the sky and close my eyes to smell the trees,
Let me stay there,
As night finally shown itself,
Slowly you may come to me and talk while taking out my favourite food,
From there i'll talk about my pain and anger,
You will see me cry while i tell you more stories,
But oddly enough i start to laugh when you joke around,
As i tell you more about the funny moments,
There on you will see me smile again.

A lot of things

There are things that people forgot to teach me
They forgot to teach me how to laugh again once i fall,
Once i start a new life in a new leaf,
They forgot to mention that i will never be the same.

Someone did remind me about the past,
The past that erase my memories after,
To the point i can hardly remember anyone,
The name that taught me how to love,
Even the name that taught me how to cry.

My future is not for a fortune teller to tell,
It was my Greatest Creator who have write it on my fate,
Though i chose every other path that i can,
I still and will be tested no matter how weak i am.

Her broken heart

It is so fragile,
The life that i led so far,
Had made me so easily broken inside,
While i keep a straight face,
But lately i felt that tears nearly dropped from my precious eye,
I had to turn away avoiding their eyes,
And brush the tears away before it could dropped,
Didn't i promise to myself to not let it happen again,
To not let my precious tears fall down again,
I guess the aftermath of my sad memory,
Has come back to me without any mercy,
For even if i begged to leave me alone,
It keeps on coming on everytime i fake another laugh.

It is so hard,
For me to tell them,
My very own family how i too hurt a lot,
But then there's always silent whisperer keeps on floating around,
'I'm only 23 years old and what pain did i really felt compare to my parent,'
Thus i turn myself around and letting me to be hurt again,
A listener to their pain that i am,
A joker to their eyes,
But all i really do take is their bashing when they loses control,
How can i be able to protect it any longer,
When i too need a shelter or more to say,
Someone whom i can really turn and cry upon too.

The nights that always accompany me,
There's no stars that i see,
No moon to be my idol,
Just dark cloudy nights become my very own blanket,
In this very room that i have,
I wrote my heart out for them to read one day,
But then i'll regret it the moment they say i'm wrong,
So tell me Dear Daisy,
What will my fate bring me?
This pain that i bring each and everyday of my life,
Will i ever found a warrior that can warm me with his life,
And make me laugh again without those tear that filled up my eye,
How i long to be able to say what is in my heart....

My Lonely Nights

If there is a path that i have to choose,
How i wanted to so eagerly chose the path for my happiness,
Life has its own way and so does fate,
No matter which path i took,
I would always come to the same junction,
The same decision that i should make,
And without a doubt i still lead the pain, the tears, the laughter all along.

If people always wanted the time to stop or reverse,
I would want the same as well,
For until now i can never forgive myself,
Their eyes that i see today is full of hope and dreams,
They look at me as if i'm innocence,
Forgetting that i am also human,
The once white cloth that i had on,
Has long been tainted by the black colour that i love,
How can i apologize to them when it is all a secret that i'm scared off,
A past that haunted me over and over again,
This is my punishment,
Where i'm unable to love anyone without hurting them.

Friendship never end (it did)

Was it too big for me to hold onto,
Or i'm just not worth it to be holding it,
For something that i called my treasure,
The precious thing and fragile bond that ever happen,
When a friendship turns their back at you,
From there and there,
You just fall down feeling the agony.



It wasn't the warmth that wrapped me up,
But the bleeding each time my heart breaks over and over again,
No matter how hard i try to mend the ties among us,
Seems like the other side of it keeps on getting cut,
How can i reach you and make you see,
When it seems like he was the only one that you care,
Somehow in my head i know i'm losing,
But my heart still tries so hard to reach you,
As time pass by,
I decided to let you go.

When it Pains

What should i do?
When the embrace that i yearn so much becomes poison,
Through my skin it felt like fire,
Burning so much that it hurt and leaves a very dark mark,
Unattractive as it is,
Somehow it becomes like acid that melts everything that i touch,
What should i do when it occurs?
When the heat of one's embrace becomes poison towards me.

What should i do?
When the words of persuade becomes bitter in my throat,
Like the medicine that i took during my pale moments,
Though somehow it can be wash away with water,
But this words does not seem to be washed away by just mere water,
How could i possibly get rid of the bitterness,
When it have come to the truth that i must accept,
But what should i do?
When the bitterness of the words does not goes away and becomes my pain.


What should i do?
When the song that i like becomes a broken radio,
The lyrics that are always clear to my ear becomes silence,
The melody itself turns to an unfinished tune,
Thus it becomes the tears to my eyes when i could have laugh,
Now i even have to beg my dearest MP3 to play it well,
But it seems my feelings is not counted,
For i keep on hearing just a mute song with unfinished melody,
What should i do?
When the song that i use to sing becomes my own tears to my heart.

Place for my heart

There's a place that i need to go,
A place that i would like to call home,
With the dark sky and stars as my roof,
The hard rock as my pillow,
Along with the wet earth as my mattress.

There's a place that i want to stay,
A place where i would run away,
With clean river flowing thoroughly,
The wild flowers sways back and forth,
The oldest tree that protect me from heat,
Along with the sound of bugs as my MP3.

There's a place that i've been missing,
Where i would find my Daisy,
The love of my life that i trusted,
My everything that i ever dream of,
The one who will protect and embrace me from my fear,
Along with the one who will see me as one of his.

Silent Pain

Somehow i wonder if they ever notice it,
Notice how mother is hurting,
Disappointed and tearing heart that i see on her face,
I wonder is they realize it,
How they treat while thinking it was for the sake of her,
But nonetheless they have forgotten about it long time ago,
I had to wonder why it is happening,
Was it because the love or the rebellious mind that made them forgot,
They forgot that mother did exist next to them.

I wonder did they see,
They sadness in the parent's eyes but still putting hope,
As the sons and daughters assume they are happy,
But when the time pass by,
I wonder if they ever notice,
Those wrinkles at their eyes are actually tears that they shed,
Pain that they kept,
A sigh of disappointment with a glint of hope keeps on wavering,
As they live in their very own life while supporting each other,
Talking how their children have forgotten them,
When money overruled the children mind.

I still wonder for today,
Did any of the child take their parent's hand,
Take and hold them to assure their hopes,
Even among 5 of the daughters, sons and there's only one that can rely upon to,
I wonder if someone is out there to hear their pain and relieves them,
Cause parent are not the people who you can hurt,
Not who you can forget,
And most important of all,
Not someone who you can replace,
I wonder if they did ever think,
How they are hurting inside but trying to be happy,
Just for the sake of their children,
They still have to sacrifice their hopes even when the children are old.

Pain

The throbbing pain that everyone feels,
I can feel it to,
No matter how young i am,
How immature i am,
Sooner or later i will feel the same,
It hurt,
Yes, i do know as much,
The feeling of wanting to cry,
Pain in your chest,
The sudden heavy burden that you felt,
I do feel it too,
No matter how old i am,
Sooner or later i too will feel it.

Time has pass by,
Where my eyes are open,
With what the world taught me to do,
Just to survive the madness of the people,
I too feel the pain,
And there you're sitting there,
While folding the clothes,
Telling me your pain is much deeper than mine,
With only the very word,
I just felt the deepest cut onto my hurt,
Along with the pain that i didn't tell nor couldn't share,
I felt it for a long time,
Causing me speechless and just watch you folding the clothe,
While i hear another hurtful word that come out from you,
The shattered heart started to shatter again,
Just when i thought i wouldn't be so fragile,
I start feeling the same pain again.

There and just there i start to wonder,
Did you ever remember me as your daughter,
The only black sheep in the family who has been there for you,
The only one whose trying so hard not to hurt you,
I wonder if you ever see me,
See me and remember me well in your deepest heart,
While i struggle to gain your attention,
Just because the faith that you put onto my sister has lost,
Shouldn't i be given a chance to give you a new meaning?
I wonder about that,
Wondering and just wondering,
If you ever notice that my heart is breaking the moment you say that,
I, who was listening to your pain and disappointment,
Felt the hurt long time ago,
When i heard another breaking matter,
The smile that i try to do,
Kept on losing it's own feeling.


I was there when you needed me,
No matter how far i've gone to,
I'm always there just for you,
For you to bash your anger,
Your disappointment and along with your pain,
But then on this very night,
I realize you never saw me that time,
Each time i try to console you,
You never realize it was me,
It hurt,
Right here,
This very fragile heart of mine,
Seems to lost its shape again,
Unlike you who have someone to listen to,
I wonder on this very note in my hand,
Crying out the pain that i felt,
Without a shoulder to cry on.

If Someone is Watching

I wonder if someone is watching,
While i walk in the bookstore,
Searching happily for my favourite novels,
Laughing to myself when i had found it,
Talking to myself when i couldn't make a decision,
Standing there and staring the books on my hand,
Thinking which one should i get,
I wonder if someone notice it,
If there is,
Please don't let me be alone.

I wonder if someone is watching,
While i went to the restaurant and eating my favourite meal,
Sitting there just daydreaming,
Sometimes watching other people's reaction,
Smile to myself when i found it to be funny,
Just sitting there for a piece of my mind,
I wonder if someone notice it,
If there is,
Please lend me your shoulder if i do cry.

From my favourite view

I still hear love song from now and then,
No matter how hurt love made me,
I still want to believe it someday,
I might not love the man i trust anymore,
But i shall lead my love to a better way.

I still write the love story that i like,
Thinking about how it would be nice if it were me,
It was just a story that i tend to borrow to float,
With my wildest prince i conquer the pain,
But then it was the story that i wrote,
I tend to get back on the ground.

I still read my favourite historical romance,
Trying my hardest just to find Alec Kincaid,
The arrogant, blunt and warrior of him,
The him who shows his affection throughout my eyes,
But it was the novel that i love,
I feel like giving up romance.

For the small room

In this little room i let a small hole to enter the light,
Let there be light in the gloomy room,
Just for me to breathe again and see the whole world,
There from that tiny hole i peek onto,
Seeing happiness as well as sadness,
I back up a little bit and reach my very treasure,
As i wrote another thing or two about the world revolve around me,
From there i start writing while wondering what would happen then,
Will it be a sad ending that i despise the most,
Or would it be the great ending that i miss so much.

I'm Fine

I'm fine like i always said,
But i keep on limping as the pain starts throbbing,
I keep on walking though it's still miles away,
I try to fasten my footsteps,
But the pain threatens to slow me down,
Sweats of hurt rolling onto my cheek,
Some might have thought it was the tears all along,
But i refuse to make any comment,
I'm okay i said,
And they start to back up and give me way,
I'm fine like i always said,
But the pain leaves me limping.

I'm fine like i always said,
As i start finding for a stick or part of trees to be my third leg,
Climbing the slippery hills as keep on climbing,
I'm starting to suffer for more and more,
I want to cry if i could,
I want to stop if i could,
I want to shout if only i could,
This pain starts to spread elsewhere,
As i keep climbing it turns out the slippery track push me down again,
As if not wanting me to go on,
I clenched my teeth to hold the pain,
But it turn out the pain on my leg is not there anymore,
I'm starting to feel the pain in my very heart,
I'm fine like i always said,
But the pain leaves me cold at night.

I'm fine like i always said,
As i struggle with the slippery track again,
This time i have every intention to challenge it,
Forgetting about the pain for a moment as i climb again,
But again it throws me away making my leg throb as well as my heart,
I look up as a hand was hold up for me,
Telling me to cry if it hurt,
Yell if i needed help,
And lean my people's shoulder for every now and then,
One by one drops of tears starts flowing,
As he lend me the shoulder that i needed,
And hold me up and let him do the walking instead,
As we climb up together,
I finally see the place that i wanted,
I'm fine like i always said,
For i have him now holding me tightly.

Curse or coincidence?

If you ever heard a heartbreaking song,
Cover my ear so i won't hear,
Nor will i sing it if i fall for it,
Cause it will be a sign where i try to avoid,
Sooner or later i'll break people's heart again.

I don't want to believe it,
Ignoring it to the point i sung it oftenly,
For me it was just a song that i like to sing,
Not because i have a broken heart,
But a song that i got attracted to and remember well,
When few days after,
I end the relationship breaking people's heart.

I wouldn't mention it if it's not true,
But as years pass by thats all i could see,
Was it a curse or coincidence,
I refuse to believe in it,
For i know it was fate,
That's what written in my destiny.

The Girl Who Run Away From Love

If i ever step on that path again,
I always wonder will i face another broken heart,
Another endless pain and dissatisfaction,
Was it all a lie when my heart says 'He's the one',
Sometimes i even doubt myself if i chose the right one.

I thought it was love at first,
Until i see to many lacking and too many pain to handle,
I start to change slowly and blame it on him,
While all in all i know the very reason it happen,
I did not love him at all.

Though i kept falling to the sins that i know,
But i dream of one perfect husband to hide my imperfection,
It was one dream of mine,
But after going through the broken heart,
I tend to run away from falling in love again.

When I'm Tired

If someone ask me what do i want at the moment,
Maybe i'll just answer a rest without nothing to do,
Let me recover my body and soul,
Sleep like there's no tomorrow,
Stare at the house and do nothing,
Laying around and rolling down,
All i want is a day for me to rest,
Without the sight of holding broom on my hand,
The sight of mopping and cleaning,
Nor cooking,,
But just continue my sleep in the morning,
And eat what you usually eat outside,
If you were to ask me what i want for now,
All i can give you a pretty long list.

If we fall apart

If everything were to fall apart,
It doesn't matter anymore,
When there's so many heart breaking,
The shouting that just won't stop,
If we were to fall apart,
All i could ever do was to face everything and the pain.

Nothing seems right anymore,
For everything that she had been fighting for,
Meaningless in the eye of his,
I as the audience feeling a great pain in my chest,
While she still can smile for me though she's suffering,
If we were to fall apart,
Let it be the last pain that we would hold.

Enough is enough,
The happy ending that we hope for,
Don't always exist in our story,
I'll go with her but i will think of you,
So to my dearest dad,
If i have the time i'll visit you,
If we were to fall apart like this,
I won't be coming home anymore.

When Was It

When was it I stop complaining,
Nor asking things from my very own family,
Was it an ordinary feeling among the family itself,
Or was it just me keep feeling i own them so many things.

To my dear sister whom i always talk to when i was small,
The one who created a map for my treasure hunt,
The one who taught ABC really well and give me homework,
My dearest sister whom i took as my role model,
When in the end,
I couldn't ask nor tell what i truly wanted.

My distant dad the one whom i'm scared of,
Even until today i'm still unable to talk to him,
Not of respect i'm scared of him but out of fear,
And for now i never tell him what i wanted even for food or money,
Was it because i lose hope in him or because of his words,
That left a deep scar whenever i see or near him.

How did i get so awkward towards my family,
When did i ever lose them though i am so close,
Them whom i treat so awkwardly,
Was it because of my concern towards their feeling that i break my own heart,
Giving out the poker face that i'm perfect at i act my role,
As a consoler i am and as a friend i am,
But when did i become so far away from them,
Was it because of my broken heart or was it because of my dying hope,
When was it did i lose my family who are so close but yet so far,,,

In this matter

For whom i make myself happy?
Is it wasn't for someone or a dream of mine that i hold,
I'm going down the hill,
Falling as if i can never see the bottom,
Thanks to that i mange to hold onto the very thin root hanging along the way,
I tend to climb up once more,
Dragging along the pouring blood and the dirty scar,
My greatest desire just keep on fighting the hardship.

One can never resist the living of love,
Falling for someone as they fall back at you,
When you thought that is all that you ever wanted,
The unexpected happen to the very moment you put hope upon it,
Thus after the very break up,
You tend to break and forget to mend yourself,
Living in a world tempted with sins,
You start pushing your very limit,
Until the very light shine upon you giving you a chance to forgive yourself.

In every family it was a rather happy ending,
You have children and see them growing up ease your pain,
But life can never end that way so easily,
When the karma calls upon you,
Everything starts to break down,
Forgetting the sweetness that you share,
The same hardships that you went through,
Of who the money belongs seems to be the talk of the town,
The very innocent child witness the sins that they make,
For the unfortunate reasons no one will be able to help them,
As they keep on breaking and tearing the very innocent heart.

So much for a happy ending that they hope,
But whatever will happen if they realize it earlier,
However will they be able to fix everything that has been done,
It turns to another karma that calls,
As every human being keep on making the same mistakes again.

About Her

Didn't they warn you about the trouble with women?
How they can easily learn the bad influence that you show,
When you cheated on them,
They might forgive it but they can never forget,
There's always be a revenge of every action that you do wrong.

Didn't they warn you about the unspeakable of a women?
Where they can easily understand man and use it against them,
How their thinking is much more complicated than we thought,
How their plan will always becomes a danger towards man,
Though gentle as they are but once their heart is tested,
They grow very violent.

Didn't they warn you about the smallest thing that women sees?
How they observe every angle of the lives of man,
How they somehow plan their own way to get them,
Softhearted as they may but it is wise not to taint their heart black,
For every pain that you cause,
You wish you would want her forgiveness.

The One

I travel here and there,
Making new and different relationship everywhere,
But no matter how far i went,
I still haven't found The One in my heart.

It was weird how i can say I Love You so easily,
But the weirdest of all i feel so empty,
I try very hard to return their love towards me,
In the end i hurt and blame them for nothing.

Now i made up my mind to stop all doing,
As i wait for The One to come,
But as time passed by,
I become the place to hear my friend's love problem.

See how lonely i am,
In pain going through all the trouble by myself,
It does hurt when you believe in The One,
When others are planning to get married.

Am i a fool to believe in such a thing,
Was iit wrong to keep on having faith,
Up until now i have waited,
Refusing to believe that it was just a dream.

For The Future H......

The moment i open my eyes,
It was your hand that i kiss,
Another kiss from you mark my forehead,
Not knowing who you are,
I set my heart upon you,
This heart of mine,
I fully devoted myself to you.

The feelings does seem stranger than it sounds,
Just like the music that i listen to,
Thats how i felt towards him,
The touch of his warmth sending shivers to my heart,
For it seems like he was telling me what he should have been,
A husband he is,
A stranger at first,
But now he is the one that i truly love.

The start of our romance starts other things,
From the beat of my heart,
To the purest love of all,
One might not believe its eye,
But i know it's real for it is like a dream,
Looking him through his eyes,
Guiding me to the right path,
He is the only one for me.

Just like L...

For a minute of your time,
I would ask you to listen to my pain,
My breaking heart that shatters finally as it hurt,
Those words that i never thought you'd say.
Leaving not a mark but tears to my face,
'How can you not see the one i used to be,
The face that you once say cheerful,
Wet by the tears of pain just by loving you',
If it was this hurt,
If i knew it was this painful,
Then i would never ever try to cross the line.

Love can never be so pain,
But why is it they cry so much like i did,
It can not be stopped nor hold,
Or even just by pretending to hate you,
So much for the word of love,
I hurt as much as they do,
Cry as much as they do in the drama,
The things that i can do,
Has become nothing in front of their eyes.

'Knowing him i can't barely lie,

Knowing her i become the greatest actor'.