When it hurts,

I thought of running away,

I asked for help from my friends,

And the downhill seems like the deadliest road,

With the unknown rocks tumbling down,

And the roads too tricky to be handled,

Like that my whole life become another reality,

Some bitter-sweet that i have to swallowed,

To cry in the arms of someone was only a dream,

As i fight my way to bury the devil in me,

So the next time it does happen again,

Lets just pray the nuclear weapon is as weak as this,

For the next time i am drunk in emotions,

I won't packed my bags again.

My Dreams

If my hands failed me to picture you,
To draw the beautiful you in my heart,
Can i tell a story of you in a way i remember you the most?
Would it be a burden that you might not know,
To tell you just how much I LOVE the YOU that i know,
If i failed to reached your heart,
Can i send someone to pat your shoulder,
As if it was from me,
The unseen me that can not be reached,
I am fine through that,
As long you are happy,
Then that person holds my dream.

If my hands failed me to touch you,
When you needed help i was far away,
Could i send an angel to hold you tight,
For you to believe in the angel as to keep you safe,
Would you forget me along the path that you go,
As hands in hands with the angel that i sent to you,
The dear YOU that I LOVE so,
If i have failed in keeping my words to you,
Can i let the angel to keep it for me,
As i might not be there again when you needed me,
As i might will fail you again in future like now,
The distance me that can not be reached,
If through the angel has kept you from harm,
As long as you are protected,
Then that angel will hold onto my dreams.

If my hands failed me to embrace you warm,
When you were so hurt and needed to heal,
As only i know the cure of your broken heart,
Can you trust the person that hugs you close,
That wipes your tears when i have failed you,
Would you be able to open your heart to that person too,
Or is it too much that i have asked,
When i believe that person ought to keep you warm the same,
Like the summer that you thought of me when you were in my arm,
Open your heart and see again my LOVE,
As lovely as your face when i happen to make you smile again,
That person also gave you every season and be there for you all along,
So when you are in pain,
That person will hear you without you screaming and crying,
My LOVE as i heard that person says,
It warms your heart and be alive again,
Can i let that person embrace you on my behalf,
For i might not live long enough as you wish me too,
For i might not come when you needed me too,
If through that person will light up the summer that you love the most,
As long as you are warm my dear lovely you,
Then that person will hold onto my dreams.

Ask me as it is

Mistake that i make,
It was written on my face,
But for those whom i have loved so,
I could not give them what it is nor cry it out,
Innocent they have thought of me,
Oh dear my own heart,
I didn't mean to lie,
I just want their forgiveness.

Of Mumblings.

When the one day that you waited for long,
Without any words in my page nor message,
I could no longer touch nor hold you tight enough,
As i am in this path that i am taking,
Of healing and gaining,
I let go bits by bits,
Seen so many done by the lots,
Aah,
I have said to myself,
When i join the crowd feeling the same as possible,
A stage and part of my life,
I understood then,
But dear me the one that you don't see,
Breaking into pieces what they would have imagine,
I can no longer glued and put it back,
Forcing my way to the destined journey,
I begged to be forgotten,
But i did beg to be loved instead.

Fear

This is fear,
As i told myself,
As my eyes close but it seems so fresh,
Time does the ticking and its part,
And as it is,
Why as in why i still trembles,
The sight of stranger carrying tools,
The banging or the lock,
I shrivelled  and my knees gave away,
Protect, hide and run,
Protect, hide and run,
It plays in my head,
I remember it as it was just the beginning,
Just as i happen to feel safe,
I could not sleep without feeling like dying.