Old Friend? Foe?

If i happen to remember you,
I'll speak to you,
When if i wasn't even noticing you,
I am pretending as my memory recalls,
But some might certainly fails my faulty,
The name that needed reminder,
Or probably the face that i thought i remember.

And so you have called me friendly manner,
The reason why i can't seem to remember,
What does happen between us,
And whatever awkward moment i'm feeling now,
I have not been in and out of drugs the last time we met,
But somehow my brain manage to block me,
The truth and just certain memoir,
That you have given to me.

But there's apology that i need to accept,
What might it be i could never figure,
Years and that long you have find me,
Funny isn't it the world that you chase,
Full of regret and begging forgiveness,
While i'm forever chasing the happiness and moves on,
Probably the meaning behind my faulty memory,
But just so you know,
I have forgive you the moment i forgot your name.

Bed Day

That particular never explain what illness i happen to have,
It have seems i have another hidden without my knowing,
I could no longer react how painful it was,
A day like forever,
A night that i wish to skipped,
I have forgotten over and over again,
That my body no longer young,
Nor being given enough adventurous to let it be strong,
I have thought i could just ignore my coughing,
The weather is just like the usual day,
That is what i assume,
Now that i could not even stomach rice,
Nor have water to stay a little longer in me,
I finally realize i was that sick,
Wearing thick clothes,
Endless nauseas without the thought of eating,
Favourite food becomes my biggest enemy,
Just the smell of it makes me avoid the kitchen altogether,
I should have known i was that sick,
But one thing i would have notice,
I would have known my gastric occurs the same time.

Motherhood

I learn that,
About how wounded i am today,
How my past affected me now,
The days that i have been through,
I am reminded by it every now and then,
About my vow,
It was suppose to heal,
But i guess it would take a great war indeed,
A battle to keep my own words,
For the next time i hold my own baby,
I would never behave like this again.

I learned that now,
Babysitting can brought up the past,
How i am treated i see it now,
Unconsciously it became true,
Everyday i would battle it out,
Trying my every way to avoid the possibilities,
Praying for more patience to calm me,
All the crying, sulking and just attitude,
I sometimes forget about my vow,
When i did yell,
When i did become evil,
When i did become the wounded person,
Hopefully in time,
In time i will never be like this again.

Humanity

If i was beginning to miss the sun,
I might as well miss the brightness that i once had,
Full of smile and thoroughly i think of peace,
As the moment i enjoyed of being in love,
Being love and never lack of anything,
Nor money and greed can ever harm the harmony within,
It was my life once before,
Yes, once before,
A long, long time ago,
Years before i had come to know,
What evil do lies in the face of human.

If i were to say it rain all day long,
I might as well say it hails and there goes storm up ahead,
I will be the weather-man,
Not long i have age and not long have i live,
To ever feel the presence of evil for the very first time,
The word turns ugly,
The people becomes horrid,
Monsters that frighten you when you are a baby,
They are that type of person,
Only i happen to know now,
Monster do exists,
But not under the bed nor inside the closet,
It was among your surroundings,
It is my life now,
And will be my life then,
Yes, it is now,
Now and the future,
Ever since that i come to know,
'They' do really exist don't they?

P/S : For the little children who lost their life at such young age by the hands of 'monsters'. May they rest in peace and may their family will get through it.

Reservation for Children (World)

In ten years more,
Or probably 50 years more,
I wonder if the children would talk about the trees,
The forest and the beauty of it,
Like i used to,
Loving the nature and always thought of going back,
To the woods and find a bit of quietness,
Would they even bother what is thinning and what is empty,
If the sound of the river are deaf to their ear,
I have often wonder,
How much longer can i protect,
The trees, plants including the greens,
When they ought to add another profit,
Through the greed they come after,
Forgetting the old days,
No more mountain that will ever be high,
No more hills to be seen,
And all of that gone while i was growing up,
If that is never enough for human greed,
Then they can never come to their senses of the lost one,
Aye,
I have said that,
The roads that i once saw trees growing,
All empty as the barren field,
Waiting to be stabbed by the metals and building,
Thus i have asked again and again,
What do children see in the future,
The world that was beautiful when i was born,
Or the world that filled up dust and just plain greed.

Him

I least talked about him,

When i do nothing good will come out,

A father is what i called him,

But wish nothing more but be distant from him,

Embarrassed and pain is suffering,

Being with him just nothing more than lie,

And more lies,

His very own story without us in the picture,

His very own story without a truth in it,

We know and i do too know,

Defend him as i might,

With all my very heart i try to defend him,

Even the greatest wall could never stand up to the lie,

Aye, it was all that,

It hurts me more and it hurts me still,

I rarely talked about him,

And when i do it was more to pain than the joy.

Love from Sinned

That loneliness and regret,
It was the cause my unforgivable sin,
The one and only that i kept as my secret,
The darkest part of the world i wish it would vanish,
Battling every now and then about the same thing,
Just over and over again,
My wish to turn back the time,
Will never be granted,
This is no fairy tale with magical wand,
Nor even a snapped through my finger will never erase it,
Thus by far i have come to accept,
Accept the sinned me,
But with this acceptance,
I can never forgive myself nor open my heart any longer,
The one dream and every little girl's dream,
Pretending to be the one who lost her shoe,
The one who ate an apple and fall to sleep,
The one with with magical long hair,
All of them have their prince by their side,
Their protector and shield to the evil,
The hands that do hold so close to their heart,
It was like a magical healer,
As the pain suddenly all gone,
With 'I do and accept you with all my heart',
That one moment in my life that i can never reach,
And just that loneliness i shut my heart out,
Refusing to remember again the sweetness of love,
As for now,
Not only LOVE that i need the most,
Something more to come with you in accepting the sinned me.

Chance to Love

When i have the chance to love,
Can i live my life like my favourite novels?
May i say the things that would make you fall for me day by day,
And everyday i wake up in the morning,
It will always be like the first time i fall for you,
Can i love you a lot more than i am allowed,
Be your strength and your charm,
Do i have that chance in life to meet someone like that?
Just to be able to love,
Happily ever after married,
And in your embrace i let my sorrow gone.