Battle of loyalty

Like the times that we shared,
The mistake that i have done,
I can hear my past being told,
But not my story that they talk,
Their very own life,
What they face,
Similar to what i had,
As i shook my head and sigh,
The turning of life,
Can sometimes be connected,
Like a teacher that i am,
Leading and be their shoulder to cry on.

So much for the keeping my heart strong,
Fighting ever so hard alone,
Struggling to keep on smiling and laughing,
When night comes,
Sometimes tears and the yearning heart seems to be torturing,
But when the dawn breaks,
I would wish it would only be night,
So i don't have to open my eye,
Seeing the image and memories of you when i'm awake,
The finger that once pointed at you were pointed at me,
Ever so fiercely,
That when i hear the story of ours but about them being told,
I was pierced through and through,
As i see myself in the very same path that they are,
The scar that i left upon myself,
I got up and told them my famous lie,
The famous story that none can see,
For they have forgotten to ask who it may be,
As i give them their strength back,
To fight the very last battle of loyalty.

Turn of Life

The turning of life,

Somehow chase no matter where i go,

I don't know if it is heartbreaking ending,

But so far,

I fought until the very end,

No matter how i felt like giving up.

Or just simply run,

Like a rebellious teenage that i am,

My leg just froze to broken place,

As i face countless times of war,

Of tears and anger,

So many wishes that i make,

Asking to stop,to end and to take my life away,

But all the more i still believe in happiness that i see,

That i believe,

For that no matter whose life i'm leading,

I know i am not alone,

Cause a simple prayer that my parent taught me,

5 times a day,

Have never i forgotten to obey,

And to The Almighty,

I turn myself to,

And to The Almighty,

I ask forgiveness and love.

Unspoken Road

This is the road that i once took,
After a long journey i have come back,
The last time i took on this road,
It was the colour of nature,
Sound of enjoyment,
Full of appreciation,
The trees that is all i see,
Stream along the path,
So beautiful and cheerful at the same,
Ah, belle,
From the ground that keep my feet walking,
To the blue sky and just bright,
Fascinate with everything around me,
While i discover more and more,
Deep further where the road leads me,
Slowly,
Just slowly it started to change,
Bits by bits,
When i finally i realize,
I miss the starting of the road that i walked on,
And as i was heading back there again,
The road started to change,
No greetings from the nature,
No warmth that i felt,
A barren road,
But the instinct that told me,
It has been the same road that i have taken before,
When i finally found the starting point,
Only that little space,
Being preserved by my own heart,
The only thing that i remember,
As i stand here and wonder,
What did happen to the road that i once treasure,
When it has become like this,
If the road could speak,
I would like to hear the rest of the story,
Of what happen,
For the years that i was lost.

Home

It is not a place that they own,
But their heart seem to fall upon the surrounding,
And so they call it home,
No matter how far they go,
To breathe a new air and fresher,
The mind still lingers,
The place where they call it home,
Like a tattoo it is,
Printed in their heart and mind,
This is their place,
Their place alone,
For them to come back home.

I envy them for having a home,
Forever going back to the place they love the most,
This mutual feeling that i had,
Like an empty shell,
Without a soul nor heart,
I wonders as far as i can go,
Not knowing when to come back home,
For i haven't found it yet,
Lost i am,
Like them,
A homeless person i am,
Wondering so much that my leg swollen,
Bruises, bloody and shattered heart,
Just like a stray cat,
I look at those who smile ever happily,
Talking about the home they love most,
This envy within me,
I can only keep on walking.

D's Heart Matter

Sometimes i answer the question of my own,
No matter how difficult it can get,
The struggle that i have to face,
The frown that have leaves wrinkles behind,
Headaches, pimples and such appetite,
I tend to answer it bit by bits,
No matter how long i may take,
To whom i may be talking to,
To what i have been listening to,
Never did i fail to answer the very same question,
Over the heart that yearning to be belong,
By whom do i choose,
To whom shall i believe and trust,
The fate that kept me thinking,
About the other half of me that got people questioning,
Can i still control every parts of me,
For when that day does come,
Will i still be able to close my own heart,
Not wanting to let anyone own it,
Even at this time,
The longer i kept it in dark,
The colder it felt,
Like the emptiness is just nothing,
Like part of my life,
It is what i own but it is not meant to be,
Thus dear heart of mine,
Do i really want the other half of me to own my heart,
Look only me where i hope to be,
Accepting bits and every past of me openly,
No questioning more and more,
Even the truth does split out,
The other half of me,
Would still look at me,
With the heart, the love, the protection that capture my own,
I have answer this all the time,
But i still wonders about who,
Who might be the king to my heart,
The palace that were not so big,
Only based on dreams and hope,
With only that,
I wonder,
Someone whom i have said,
Would he be one day,
Lead me the way that i needed to be,
Can always love me in life till death,
It does come to that far,
Dear heart of mine and dear heart of mine,
Can i still open my heart when that one day has come?

Her Happiness.

You could say i have amnesia,
Not because of the sickness or what you see on TV,
For something that was years ago,
Or just a couple of hours ago,
Some wonders,
Why is it i'm unable to remember,
Such a happy one and not to mention the painful ones,
Not a flashback come upon me,
Nor image that i could remember,
As you told me what made you smile,
When i look at you blankly,
Wishing i could remember it too,
For when you smile like that,
I was wondering,
Why is it i forgot,
The things that made you smile.

That part of the lost i still search for,
Wanting to remember what is it that i did for you,
Talk about the trees that we plant together,
Has grown ever so big,
Even have fruit and flowers in that precious place,
Then about the little event that i made for you,
I still wonder,
Why is it i'm unable to remember those very bits,
Looking at you smile ever so happily,
But at the same time those sad eye that i see when you look at me,
Both of us wishing i would remember the same,
I was sadden by my very own memories,
For betraying me and blocking it,
Curse as i may,
When i knew there was a time,
My very own self are trying to protect me,
But this moment,
Just like you,
I too want to smile at the memories that made you happy.