Bits of Pictures

As old as it may seem,
It comes a whole lot different story,
Some i would want to share with the next generation,
And a little part of it,
Just between me and him is enough,
But there are some,
Let fire burns the memory that i want to erase,
Although so,
The past is still something that lies within me,
Deny it as i may,
The talks and all the more,
Can still bleed the old wounds,
With your own word i kept,
'Protecting me from everything' you say,
Is what lead you to me.

Sure it does tell a lot story,
What happen in between it,
The eyes can talk a lot,
Even still picture you see,
I might as well make it a book of my own,
But it stopped,
Ain't no more my face that you might see,
Behind the camera itself is me,
As people ask the reason for my missing,
Starting the day i ruin my past,
My life ends at the age of 20,
I kept myself in the dark,
Mourning for my mistake,
Indeed until now,
I'm unable to tell the very own secret.

Missing and wishing is the only thing we manage to do,
What comes after that,
Were only pure memories that makes us believe,
Just for the precious moment to be play again and again,
More and more,
It makes us smile,
And still the time cruelly just ticks away.

Pause

More like a drama,
There's life that live,
Involves almost everything,
It was being summarize in novels and drama,
But as usual,
There's always more to that,
Even for the sake of chasing happiness.

Likewise,
Trying to write the story of my life,
Like how they sung their own eyes,
How the mind and heart talk together,
Gaining thousands of answer, reasons and question,
In the end,
Just in the end.

I'll be likely wanting to say more,
When i do speak,
Somehow it sounds like a bluff or just another empty talk,
I don't ask for it though hunger of it,
As usual that is,
What is written,
Reading the meaning seems to be harder,
So does saying it,
After all,
It's just me,
Me and my book.

Written by the Unknown

Written by the unknown,
So anonymous that people didn't see,
Nor even notice the message within,
No beauty to attract the eye,
Or charm that will lead them to this,
But it was there all along,
Written by the unknown.

Written by the unknown,
Talk so much about the life,
The hardness and pain,
Misery life this unknown were in,
For it never stated about the joy and happiness,
Everyone starts to wonder,
Why is it that it was so tragic,
They have forgotten of course,
But it was written,
Written by the unknown.

Written by the unknown,
The question pops and keep on popping,
About the right and the name of the unknown,
So good to be true to stumble upon the page,
Read another and just another,
Until the date start to stop at certain point,
Weeks, months and years,
No more new post can be seen,
Dear the unknown,
The first response finally arrive,
To the unknown for more of the forgotten,
Only unknown knows it all,
Cause it was written,
Written by the unknown.

Written by the unknown,
A silent fame start to arose,
As they question about the name and the unknown,
It was published and became a treasure hunt,
Hunting for the unknown to step out,
But it was so quite on the other side of the wall,
As the unknown starts to write more about life,
Silently in the art that the unknown wrote,
Become like more to reality itself,
Still humble and it's still unknown,
But people starts to read it,
The art that was written,
Written by the unknown.

My honour

When you point your finger toward me,
I'll break it and teach you about manners,
You're older than me?
So what,
Being at that age should have known better,
Unless you take the shortcuts to be able to smile ever so disgustingly.

Afraid? Fear?
To whom?
To you who only gain powers?
Put your head down,
Cause in everywhere you go,
There it shows,
Written all the sins that you have done,
That power you're holding,
Are only the money that is backing everything,
That piece of paper can never but my honour.

A poor that i am,
Suffering from the development,
But then i am forever thankful,
Heart made of iron,
In facing the everyday challenge,
I'll keep on saying it,
Saying that over and over again,
Proudly,
No matter you flung a big pile of money in front of me,
I still smile widely while refusing it,
As there you are,
Acting like a beggar,
Begging for my attention.

Life from the lonely heart

Waiting is very painful,
A process that endures so many of them,
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years,
It didn't seem to have an ends,
I could give up right now,
But what happen to my believe?,
The wishes i make every night,
The prayers that i say in my every prayer,
It is not in my nature to let things go,
What more to say,
It is the reason why i still want to live,
Due to the simple one,
I tend to appreciate it more and more.

That day,
Seems like yesterday for me,
The unchanging chore of what i do,
More and more question pops out,
Just when i was about to finish answering it all,
The next day,
I seem to keep on doing just that,
An exchange of conversation,
Within me and the heart i own,
Sighing over when it got complicated,
Another thought crosses my mind,
It would be nice,
If there really is someone for me to talk to.

Yet,
They always say,
What we want we can never have,
I told a friend all about it,
When she complain about the phrase that we always hear too,
'Just go with the flow, it will make life easier',
Thats what they say,
And how we both see it,
We were wondering if we will break that phrase,
When it is never easy when it comes to life itself,
As i told her when the question of being the black sheep in the lots,
"It's a trial and error do,
The will determine the impossible,
As we keep changing answer and direction from time to time,
It is unstable,
Just like treasure hunt it is,"
Yesterday, today and tomorrow,
It is a mystery without the science included.

Reality

Must everything end like a fairy tale,
For someone ever so romantic like me,
Also knows the truth,
We dream of the beautiful thing in life,
Believe in happily forever after,
As we keep on dreaming until the end,
We forgot that evil do exist,
In term of good that comes,
Evil will always exist,
Luring them and fallen,
Either worshiping the devil,
Or be their errand-boy,
And the life that we see so beautiful in a dream land,
Seems to be shattering,
Including the trust that you believe,
But even so,
Very little of them manage to hold onto it,
Yearning for it to come true,
No matter the whisper word or temptation comes,
The greatest challenge that calls,
In the end,
The life that they wanted to see,
Just like the fairy tale and novels that they read.

A little bit more.

Small steps and a little bit more,
Feels like forever to reach to the top,
Helpless for a moment,
The thought of giving up is terrifying,
For it's a long way down there,
It would be a miracle,
If i still be able to stand proudly on both feet,
When it hurt so much that i wish to disappear.

Even so,
The forever broken promises,
Betrayal and mocking,
I still move forward,
Dragging the heavy feet,
Holding onto the very thin rope,
Trying to keep myself stable in every move i make,
I won't stop,
Though everyone gave up upon me.

I'm fine,
With all those sweet words,
The sharper than knife words,
This ears won't even listen to what you are trying to say,
In you i have given up my trust,
For a tiny happiness that i try to expand,
In the mean time,
No more of coaxing word that may be heard from me,
As i make my own way to the road of my happiness..

Devil in me

Feelings like this,
Never should exist in the heart of my own,
Talking about what i deserve and not,
So much sacrifice that i'm making,
For the things that are not mine,
Then why is it i have been given this when it troubles me,
I keep denying it,
And forever sharing my luck with others,
As my greeds tried so hard to take control,
I fight with every will i have,
Just to know my own place.

I could always tell the truth,
Sets myself free than any other birds in the sky,
But what good does it bring to others,
The one mistake that i did,
Let it be me to suffer,
For the decision and my betrayal towards them,
Silently i'm making it into a deadly nuclear weapon,
That is why i can never tell,
What might be the most i regret and the one sets me free,
It would be the death of those who hear it.

I keep my head down,
The next time i won't talk that much,
Nor boast about my own success,
Cause the fear over my ownself,
Have become the reason i hide myself,
Too afraid to show what might come for me,
Even a pinch of my shadow might become a virus,
Hear me well but not from my mouth,
See me well but not from my outside,
Let this clicking message that i'm doing,
Be my words of truth and be my everything for you to know.

Season Change

They talk about winter on the other country,
While here i am wishing to talk about it also,
When the snow falls and how thick it can get,
The blizzards of white that washed away a town,
Like a pillow or mattress,
But so fragile that it crush,
How it smell so different when it does falls,
And within that only i could hold your hand,
To keep it warm.

What beautiful may come,
When the chirping bird sings loudly,
Calling to the people walk by,
To just look around them,
Colourful flowers and the smell of wood,
Signing the come of spring,
For every flower that blooms,
I just happen to remember,
The way you compare me with the flower around me,
As i laugh when i told you,
" That old trick never did fade away from your lips".

Heat starts to increase,
Knowing that the sun has finally show itself,
The mighty power it held within,
Unlike the past seasons that we went trough,
So many more challenge that we fight,
Not the warmth can heal the heart,
Just like the season itself,
The continuous of needing water and searching for coldness,
One small mistake that we make,
Will eventually lead to seperation,
When i told you countless times,
About the heart that always belong to you,
And be the shadow to your every place that you are.

Just like the falling leaves,
Our problem seems to be just like it,
Falling slowly one by one,
Comes the autumn that we love,
As we watch and turn to look back what we left behind,
The wood give out it's last scent,
No flower could be compare to,
For your tongue to twirl,
But the yellowish and almost brown leaves that we see,
Each has it's own tone,
When slowly the coldness crept onto the skin,
As you hold my hand again,
But this time with a kiss on the palm.

The Hand Hurts More

The hidden letter that was written,
Meant to be send when you are old enough,
To understand and be able to accept it,
Thus my dear sweet child,
This trembling hand writes to you,
Just a little bit of the story that goes,
Truth were meant to set free,
And a promise that i kept to myself,
But soon to be forgotten by a faulty memory of mine,
Or just merely due to the reason why i have ever become lonely,
When you decided to walk away,
Just away from the very small family that you had,
Though they say blood is thicker than water,
Some have forgotten about the scars that you carry on,
Only me who can heal it,
And only me the antidote of the sickness that you had,
Hear me my dearie,
That past of yours,
I'll answer it all.

After all the hardship that i have been through,
There you were,
Born just like any other babies in the world,
The wailing that you make,
Gave me a smile and happiness around my heart,
Those tiny finger that wraps my own,
Felt so warm as i hold you within,
When i can feel my tears flowing down onto my cheek,
As i kiss your forehead and thanking you for coming to me,
Years pass by as you were 4 years old,
Finally starting to understand what i'm saying,
Where you talk back at me,
And there's no more of goo goo, ga ga,
Even so,
You started to get hit a lot,
Grounded, yelled and mostly spanking,
As my heart ache over and over again,
Wishing that you understand,
When i know none of my word can reach you yet,
Due to that very own,
The distance that you're creating,
Tears me apart,
No longer can i hugged and kiss you on the cheek,
When the older you get,
The blame and hatred that i have from you,
Somehow becomes the very own poison that i receive from you,
Each sins that i made,
While trying to teach you about the good in life,
Besides protecting your own life from the evil that might hurt you,
From the pressure that i get from the surroundings,
I sighed tiredly,
Unable to stopped you from leaving the house,
When i forget to tell you my reason for hurting you,
Ruining your childhood that you assume,
I watched you go so coldly,
Still prays for your safety and success no matter you go,
Cause dear my sweet child,
The hand that hurt you while you were growing up,
Hurts so much more than the scars that you carry,
Though no bruises that you see...
So long my dearie.