Memo From My Phone #4 (Malay) -Kata-kata Tangisan-

Hati yang menyimpan 1001 luahan kata-kata tangisan,
Tatkala dalam kegembiraan aku khabarkan,
Bukan aku senang keadaan yang sedemikian,
Lidahku terlalu kelu untuk aku luahkan,
Pernah dan seringkali jua aku membuka kata hati,
Akan tetapi tidak didengari mahupun dipedulikan,
Tidak aku nafikan mereka jua pun turut merasa begitu,
Bezanya aku,
Tiada tempat untuk mengadu,
Lantas aku pendamkan saja tangisan ini,
Menjadi dodoian tidurku saban malam,
Dan bila malam menjelma hitamnya,
Layarku sering berada pada satu soalan,
'Pada bahu siapakah hendak aku sandarkan?',
Hati yang sekian lama terluka,
Sudah aku ubati juga berkali-kali ulangnya,
Namun tiada lagi aku merasa kehangatan kasih pada hati ini,
Hanya sekadar layar yang kosong,
Untuk hati yang kian parah,
Bimbang kiranya aku yang menjadi korban.

Memo From My Phone #3 (Malay) -Sekadar Seni-

Hanya sekadar seni,
Buat hati yang menyimpan rasa,
Topeng yang sering menjadi tontonan umum,
Memaparkan kisah bahagia, senyum dan gembira,
Tatkala sendirinya aku di sini,
Bila malam menjelang kegelapannya,
Hati ini sering mengeluh kepenatan,
Aku yang hampir mengalah,
Di saat air mata hampir menitis,
Aku tetap bangkit untuk hari yang seterusnya.

Memo From My Phone #2 -Reasons to avoid-

I've seen too many things,
In return i refuses to experience the many things,
The hardship equals the pain,
I want to avoid it all,
But fate and destiny is something else,
It can never be avoid nor create,
No matter how i wish and pray for exception,
But unknowingly it forces me to open up the many things,
Even so,
I can never deny what this life have for me.

Memo From My Phone #1 -In Needed-

Who's there to massage me,
Be my consoler and be my ear,
I have often wondered at least once a day,
All the hands that i gave to them,
I felt solitude crept up upon me,
Asking me who would be the one to do the same for me,
I could not give the answer not even once.

It was not because i want something in return,
But there are times when i am useless to my own self,
In needed of the hands of other people,
No matter how much i ask and hinted,
No one would be bothered a slave like me.

Sometimes i don't know which pain me the most,
Was it the aching back or simply just my broken heart,
Either way i still don't know who whisper the question to my ear,
Be it the angel who cares for me,
Or the devil who tries to lure me with lust,
In my despair,
I trust no one,
Not even me to give out the answer.

Somewhere in the woods

Living in the life of my own,

Full of beauty and warmth,

Simply out of purity and peacefulness,

I could tell you what i see,

And it is up to you to make up the story.

Green and dark woods,

Somewhere deep down,

A home not too rich but warm when it gets cold,

Full of love and romance in the air,

Flower ever like Daisy her favourite of all,

A little swing tied onto a tree,

And somewhere around there,

When you happen to look up,

One more house hanging and growing within trees.

Small river by the side,

A clear water without any dirt,

Mainly just fresh living fish and creatures,

Haunted as it may seem,

But they still could make it so warm,

And ever so safe,

Just when they hold out their hand,

We could never really understand that feeling,

Him and her are the only one creating it,

Just like an angel there are,

Releasing us from our despair.

Without the mask

There are this time,

That particular time where i acted as it was real,

But don't be hurt by my true self,

As you should have think about the consideration earlier,

I did not ask for anything in return,

Just a little space where i needed to have,

I have endure all and  be patience more,

Waited like forever when you have the time,

Just like everyone else have their limitation,

I too have my own and it's thin like ice.

My true self without a smile nor warmth,

I have warn you before to not take heart,

Told you about the consequences that might occur,

It was without a heart nor kindness,

Only a blank stare through your persuasion,

Through your shocking i cannot be deterred,

The once easily be talked on everything,

Easily be console with gifts and jokes,

Were nothing toward the me that you see today.

Today i have showed you the real me,

Not that it was never there,

This true self is too fearful for me to handle,

The hearts that i never want to break,

The happiness that i wanted to keep,

Forgive me for being like a stone,

Being so cold hearted without a feeling,

I cannot laugh any longer with you,

Hard headed that i am until this time,

But this might hurt you even more,

To hear the truth.

What are my words to you

What are my words to you,
When i whisper it to your ear,
I spoke the word of love and happiness,
But why is it that you hold me so tight,
Almost like trying to heal me,
Consoling me with your own words,
When all of sudden,
I'm not strong enough to endure it,
As i cry and cry on that shoulder of yours,
Until now i wonder,
What are my words to you,
When i spoke the word of love and happiness.

Reasons for living

I am not listed as the great one,
Nor could i be that kind of person,
No matter how i strive harder than usual,
I am still the invisible me,
The unseen and unheard of,
Though there i am standing in front of your eye,
It was nothing,
Not even a glance from you.

What ails me as i grew up,
The silent that they gave,
When the question on why i'm still here were asked,
So much for the excuse that they could not say,
Acting like it was so mysterious,
But what they truly felt nothing than embarrassment,
Not that i stay silent,
Like i have said before,
This voice of mine was unheard.

I am blind, deaf and mute,
This eye, ears and mouth are perfect,
But not to them that i am living my life for,
Sacrifice every bit,
Just like a puppet i am being experiment,
My reasons are nothing but an excuse,
I have wonder so often,
So often that i can never cry,
What is the reason i live until now.

A Complete Heart

The complete side of me,
The protector and the warrior,
Warm on my hand and close to the heart,
Leader among my world,
Respected by the power that he holds,
Not the money that he counts,
Accepting me as who i am,
Protecting my flaw with his power,
While I be his better half,
To complete him and to be completed by him,
He's the one that i want.

Price of Karma

I sometimes wonder,
How long and just how much,
Endurance and tolerance that i have to go,
I wish i had all the answer and sometimes,
I wish i only know that much,
Knowing everything makes life harder,
Their feeling that i have to think about,
The limit that only i can know,
Something should be ignore,
Before i forgot about myself.

The thing that i'm scared of,
How much pain that keeps on adding,
To the memories that will fade in time,
The scar that will somehow open up,
I'm still scared to what it will made me,
Fearing i would be the monster,
Be someone that i could hardly recognize,
Reminders of everyday mending the pieces,
Is a fragile matter,
When i have to be the angel of my wild side.

My tears are my pride,
Hidden and unknown,
Secrets that are kept within this four walls,
Protecting me from the harm and evil,
I would cower myself up during the night,
The only moment that i would know,
Without any disruption,
I would have the time of my own,
To cry my heart out,
And to write hundreds of my own story.

It's the price i'm taking,
Of the sins that i have done,
Of the people that i have hurt by far,
Ignore and trouble,
Mock and sarcasm,
I have done it all when i'm too high up there,
Now i felt it all as the karma works around,
I can only ask forgiveness,
And pray for each other's happiness,
I pray for you too.

Free Love Song

I would write what i have wanted,
Says whatever i want to say,
Sing it although out of tune,
Without a melody i don't want to bother,
A song that no one would listen,
It was only my voice and my own music,
Creating what i thought was the best,
Smiling toward the outrageous meaning,
But i care not about the fact,
It was based on my eyes and what i feel,
The meaning of everything the way i see it.

I'll say the sky is blue which is true,
But with a bit of purple that i can only see,
Boast to them i would cross the open sea,
But i could barely swim for a mile,
Talk about my love for you as high as the mountain,
Deeper than the sea,
Scientifically it was all a bluff and something to laugh,
The words of love sometimes sound foolish,
Even the great geniuses would compare it the same,
If it's about love,
Everyone is the same.

So the stars that are hidden behind the cloudy night,
Sky still glows like a diamond unpolished,
When the early rises shuns upon my face,
I'll shout to the world the happiness i have,
And so here it goes the bizarre of my world.

Like the wind the pain of yesterday,
A flower for the smile on your face,
As sky,stars, moon and sun i would present it to you,
Of all the world thats there to give,
I would hand it to you like i own it too,
The barren tree would look so lovely in that eye of yours,
Even the things that i didn't see colourful would look so great on you,
Others would think i'm crazy if i compare the flower and your face,
The seasons change but never my love,
They would say it all the same if in love like me,
As crazy as it sounds,
I open the door of my locked heart for you.

Stories of love are everywhere i might see,
I don't envy as i have my own too,
Mock the singles and the **** for sneering the greatest gift,
I boasted more and more and be proud of it all the same,
Shows it to the world that we too can preserve peace,
The extinction if we're not so selfish,
Now what is it i am inserting in my own song,
All i know i am singing a love song.

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Some for the moment of holding on,

Moment of endurance were also there to come,

It is what it is,

A foolish feeling but yet people still need it,

A drug so addictive and a virus without the cure,

So many times fall for the strangest moment,

At the strangest time,

Deny it as much as they can,

But the LOVE will never leave you alone,

When you might want to lock or harden your heart,

This is the gift that unable to be kept away,

Slyly it will creep up upon the place that you didn't know,

As you realize it,

It was not something that you can let go.

Make me  believe in you,

Kept that it is something worth it,

No matter how much i want to deny it,

I too want to fall in love.

From  THE AUTHOR

That was once peaceful

Where do we go if the place now being conquered,
By some scholar but without a brain,
Some intelligent that could hardly think,
Geniuses gave out some impossible and all the nonsense,
Years with peace now tainted with power,
Hunger of money and control,
They have forgotten the one thing that they have to remember,
What have become to their surroundings,
They too have feelings and human themselves.

How is it their lust turn them becoming ever so moronic,
Their gifted talent was nothing but a bluff,
A head so full of loathsome thoughts,
Spreading it like a virus and slowly taking others innocent,
All that talk about money and power,
Back then it was only the talk of coffee shop,
Now it happen in the place where it have been safe the whole time,
Devils can only laugh by the downfall of humanity.

This world comes to an end,
All the young one would not be able to see,
To see the world that we have live in long before then,
From the moment of our independence comes the beautiful of our own,
Now tainted with all the powers and money that they want to seize,
Glory and name filled with bloods and pain,
They have forgotten that we too have fought,
But not the power just a peaceful place that we want,
Until now,
We would wait and fight back,
As we bring back memories and cease their corrupt thoughts.

To that friend of mine

I am not missed by the people i hope,
But i am glad i am still missed,
Not that i deliberately leave without a call,
Nor any news,
The circumstances on my side could not let me explain well,
About the more than just the simple ordinary me,
Just like you,
I too have my own ups and downs.

Never did i forget about those who cares,
Try as i might to show i care,
Wanting to let them know i haven't change,
To the moment i hope they understand more,
But even so i understand something else,
About the part where the one i hope to listen wouldn't care,
So i turn to those who care and not neglect me,
As i give the same love that they have been given all along.

So much for the misunderstanding,
Not the explanation they care to hear,
Talking about the pain they feel betrayed,
The tiniest apology only looked to be down,
We were once the closest friend and the best-est friend,
Now we dare to even throw each other away,
Not that i too don't feel hurt nor say it to you,
But your heart that i could not tell,
It's sometimes best we are apart now and silent,
As for how long i could not answer.