Belle of Life

It was not always my way,
But when i decided that i needed an answer,
Probably i will be the gems that no one knows,
For i do not use my best to gain them answer,
I use my naivety to make them tell,
Cruel one might say,
But it will years too late for them to notice,
I could conquer much of the world,
As intriguing as it may sounds,
I do not have the ambition to conquer the places,
The world do not owned by me,
It is only a place to be thankful for being alive,
Learning the meaning, weakness and strength,
I see that much by far,
The rest in between,
More to the 'Belle of Life'.

Thought of Suiciding

When i can't seem to call,
I do hope someone would,
Even a tiny message that would say 'hi',
Even that one bit,
I could feel i want to live again,
It was not part of my life to suicide,
Only a downfall of me forgot how to get up,
Probably that is when i decided to die,
End the life that i felt so worthless,
Being useless all the same,
The attention and love from family is what pains me,
I could handle the rest of the world,
But only from them i can never fight,
I obeyed them and lost into it,
Those un-shed that were unseen,
Pain and cracks created upon the mask,
The feeling of lonely itself happen to help it faster,
As dangerous as it sounds,
Unaware of them the situation i felt,
I happen to see another light and remembering again,
No more cuts on my own left arm,
Disarm the scissors that i held for so long,
I have my beliefs and i grew up with it,
And so i prayed and repent there and just that,
As i get up again and live my life,
To the fullest and to my joy.

Until That

Until my time start ticking again,
I will be waiting for him and lowering myself,
Not that i worshipped him,
But the uncertain answer that he gave,
Was the only reason i have not settle my own,
I ask him all the more,
That simple and typical question that i needed him to answer,
Has become years and challenging my patience,
Chances of too many that i gave,
Becomes my stupidity in love,
It is true i am counselling those broken heart,
Thus,
Here i am unable to fix mine.

Life continues on and it did,
As our own dreams we were reaching have accomplished,
We still gave out the terms 'friends',
I have wish to slap you hard enough,
But as i realize someone did slapped me from the sleep,
My hesitation and his uncertainty has to be stopped,
And in the end i backed away the moment he give me the answer,
It was years late i told him so,
What did we feel was mutual and long,
When i hold his hand tight and smile upon him,
Let my time tick again and i start walking without turning back,
Until he gave me the ring,
Until then I will give him mine.  

Dreams of Life

It never was a tale nor myth,
A lie that everyone would ever thought of,
Even a boast that no one would care to listen,
Those years did pass by,
And to whom it may concern,
Would you see the place i am standing now?
The dreams that i have chase and told,
The history that i would make you see,
Just something that you would believe,
I am that me that you did not bother,
That me the one you ignore,
From my poverty and to my glory,
The powers of the dream and the world that are gifted,
That smile i lost a long time ago,
This is what i own,
And what is lent to me as my happiness,
Grateful i am and tears that i am,
To them who ditched me behind,
Has the world teach you more about the pain and life?
For i have felt it all the more,
But that is what i am as for today.

Past and Future

Running and panting,
That was all in the past,
I failed to face it head on and start to make excuses,
Pardon for my lack,
And sorry for my pride,
But now as i went lower and deeper,
I happen to see and face the outcome,
For who i am and what i am,
I can no longer care about the heart of you,
To the one that still walk on clouds,
This is never a cartoon tales that i am telling,
Cause life is KARMA,
Somehow,
It will bring you back to the ground again.